옛날의 나를 보면 정말 멀리도 왔다~ 라고 생각이 든다..
그때는 정말정말진짜대박 철없고 완전 애였다… 지금도 뭐 그렇지만 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
누가 익명으로 나에게 진심 상처 받았었다고 쓴 글을 봤다. 내가 뒷담화를 해서 날 믿을수 없다고… 착한 사람이지만 그렇다고… 정말 슬픈 일이다.. 그걸 어떻게 잊고 있었지?
어떤 사람을 다치게 하고 아프게 한걸 생각하면 정말 화가난다.. 난 정말 되도록 다른 사람들에게 피해를 주지 않고 싶었는데… 고등학교때 진짜 다른 사람들 뒷담화를 많이 했나보다, 두명이 비슷한걸 물어봤으니..
왜 사람 앞에선 친구인척 하고 뒤에서 호박씨 까냐고 했을때 정말 할말 없었다.. 쓴것도 도움이 아마 하나도 안됬을것이다
그사람이 아팠던걸 하나님이 치료해주시고 날 용서 해줬으면 하는 바램밖에 할수없네… 정말 정말 미안하다.
나한테 직접 얘기를 안했어도 나한테 상처받은 사람이 얼마나 많을까.. 정말 가슴아프고 미안하다. 어떤수로 이 마음을 전해야 할텐데…
I can’t seem to grasp the “big deal” about gifts anymore
Christmas and birthdays.. I think all that matters is spending time with people you love.
gifts are nice, I guess, and when they are meaningful, they are exponentially better, but giving gifts have become really obligatory for me in general.
"It’s Christmas, what do I have to get them?"
"I want to get them this gift because they would like it, and what a coincidence - it’s Christmas"
these are totally different feelings.
I wish gift giving were no longer obligatory.
Even though I enjoy picking stuff out for my family and friends, I can’t help but have a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind, thinking how this is mandatory.
& it frustrates me that I have to feel this way.
Honestly, I would very much prefer that someone spend time with me for the holidays or for my birthday than give me a gift. LOL I guess I feel this way because since I have a job now, I can buy things for myself.
I’m anticipating to spend a lot of money on gifts - things that we don’t really need when we can spend the same amount of money giving gifts to people who are in need.
Gifts are so ephemeral to most of us - we receive and soon after, we don’t find much use for it anymore. I feel like a true sign of friendship is to be there for the other person in every situation. A gift doesn’t confirm love - it’s just another nice thing added to our collection of numerous “nice things” we’ve accumulated over the years.
Some people don’t even have a collection.
Rethinking gifts. food for thought.
what a wake up call of a day it was.
while mindlessly moving from class to class, I thought, “what would people say about me when I am gone, and would they even have nice things to say?”
it’s time to reevaluate how I am living my life.
despite how ephemeral this cliched statement is, we should appreciate people to the fullest while they’re still here. Life is short and temporary, and there is no controlling when you would lose someone.
my head is full of regrets but amazing memories as I write this post. He was such a good person, and of all people, he didn’t deserve this.
Rest in Peace, Yongjae. thank you for being a positive influence on my life when you were my teacher and impeccable co-worker. I will miss you immensely.